FUNNY FOREIGN FOOTBALL NAMES

And just going straight on from that, this is a fella who has dug up………….never mind Germany and the current German League, this is a list of players from my 1987/88 European Football Handbook.

Are they filthy?

No they're not.

Well Racing Club in Paris have a Goalkeeper called Murray Creamou, I'm just going to go through the best of these:

Lambig Wawa,

Attic Coot,

Rolaf Jan Tictac from AZ Alkmaar,

Of course Pablo Plak,

And of course Gerry Slagboom,

And of course Marcel Peebow,

And of course Kenneth Plomp,

And of course Flitorio Vega Yoyo

And of course Florin Pop,

And any reminders that The Young Boys of Berne play in the Wankdorff stadium.

You never said Terry Pista

This was an anonymous person who sent a list of great players currently playing in Belgium, Luxembourg and Holland and I shall do them in no order. We'll start first with some Belgium Players:

Patrick Guus,

Irving Lemons,

Meeko Van Der Donk,

Bas Der Roover,

Brian Flys,

Luciano Crapper.

Brian Flys! Always hanging around Crapper isn't he Flys?

In Luxembourg……bring them all down, this top five-a-side team and substitute:

Nico Funk,

Ralph Bunk,

Patrick Posing,

Christian Sinner,

Frankie Shank,

Norbert Whooer.

And meanwhile over in Holland, some say Netherlands, we present the following squad of players:

Fred Grimm,

Richard Plug,

Ronald Hoop,

Etienne Barmetloo,

Ruud Coul,

Tom Pronk,

Oswald Smith,

Marc Wiggers,

Rick Plum,

Geoffrey Van Ass,

Ruud Brude,

Gregory Playfair,

Michael Knock,

Walter Smack,

Eggbert Barwinkle,

Albert Plugboere.

And in the Luxembourg National Side it's very possible for Nico Fonk to pass to Ralph Bunk. This could happen if there was a Lowlands team: Guus finds Van Der Donk, looks for Funk finds Bunk, Plug, Pronk, Pronk holds onto it, finds Wiggers then Smith, finds Playfair, Knock, Smack, Playfair, Smith, Pronk………..

This is the best, Plugboere as you say, Lemons and Guus, Flys and Crapper. Not just funny, these have got to be great to say. My favourite there is Frankie Shank, Norbert Pronk.

Tonga and Samoa, okay these are real teams from Tonga and Samoa. This is from our own correspondent Terry Libberapullapuss.

Okay, of course the Minje brothers are in here, they beat Mount Hargin Panthers. No! Mount Hargin Panthers defeated the Minje Brothers 26-16, okay there's one.

In the Tonga League, Hopfolla beat The Puke Turtles, P-U-K-E Turtles 18-8.

Oh No! Oh Wow! Okay in the Samoa League, we are proud to announce that………..,okay lets go through it. In the E.L.F. Sub-League the Champions have been The Surveyor Spiders. In the L.P.S. Sub-League the Champions have been The Akea Barracudas and in the Alopecia Sub-League the Champions are The Micalatee Sewer Side.

So they'd be The Puke Turtles, The Micalatee Sewer Sides and there's every chance when the draw is made they'll be visiting The Minje Brothers.

We've had a couple, Gerry De Jong who I think we've had before. Sam De Bosker who we've certainly had. Arno Dis Zwim and that's very good….Jan Gassbeek he plays in Belgium. Stefan Steur Trucker.....

But I've got to be careful here because even people who work for the Station think we shouldn't say some of the stuff we do. I don't know why, this is funny. This is good, listen to this. Now we've got to be extremely careful here. We don't say it because it's rude. We just say it because it's a great name to say.

Yeah….. his name's Frank, okay so that's his first name. Now his second name is A-………..Listen now, pay attention, stop them talking in the back of the car because you'll remember this forever. Hi first name's Frank and his second name is A-W-A-N-K-A. His name is Frank Awanka. There is Godfrey…..no I can't even say that because anyway I say it it's just filthy, but there's Tom Cack.