PS.THE EXCORCIST was shite.

Yes, I have been and still probably am Mark Kermode, popular skiffle group frontman, cultural commentator, wit, curmudgeon, sexual athlete and eternal Exorcist re-treader.

Have any of you caught the 'Fear of God' documentary on the special edition 25th Anniversary DVD, by the way? It's well crucial. And if you watch the alternative ending with Bulgarian subtitles you're in for the fright of your lives. Friedkin re-edited it specially at my instigation.

Before I bow out I'd like to say thanks to you all, the couple who knew and played along and the rest of you who provided such wonderful entertainment.

Thanks also to Danny and Jonathan who dreamed up the idea, my publishers at Boxtree who gave me just enough rope to hang myself, my very real and Marcus-like friend, AC, whose life was the inspiration for 'Marcus', thanks to the scriptwriters for the original footy material (I'm glad you enjoyed that by the way, it wasn't cheap!) and most of all thanks to my wonderful and patient fragrant flower who trusted me that there really was a profitable point to all that time spent in the spare bedroom and I wasn't really just meeting fat chicks from Malaysia. I love you.

I hope you won't hate my depiction of you all in the book and my occasional lifting of your material. Unfortunately you waived your right to unfettered anonymity and copyright protection when you posted on a public message board but I think I've been kind on the whole. You may be able to guess the exceptions but you can always sue, can't you?

See you at the Whitbread Book of the Year Award. (Yes, you're that good!)

M.K.

The Lancashire and Blackburn Rovers connections don't fit.

Even when he comes clean he comes across as arrogant. I would question his ownership of the IP rights to the postings. Lawyers at the ready?

Still feel like I've been suckered though. Horrible, horrible, horrible.

What's that I hear? The stampeding herd of Disgruntled Treehousers en route to Potters Bar? Surely not.

Of course, I don't believe for a second that this is true (I don't remember Mark Kermode ever mentioning Bruce Springsteen in his many appearances on the radio), but the Rev is certainly spicing things up with his dry powder.

I realised that this was someone playing a part, winding us up (I think I said he had adopted the persona of a tosser you'd never want to meet). But no, I never guessed he would turn out to be other than a bit of a sad fantasist, nor that his motivation would be other than a bit of wickedness.

So, yes, Mark(us) you did a good job.

What I am left feeling weird about is the apparently genuine emotions caused by all this, and wondering what it's all proved. So we've been taken for a ride. Some people were hurt. Is that OK? Who are the couple of people who knew and played along? Going to put hands up now, or what?

Is it really OK to come into a group of real, live people and manipulate them for something as shallow as getting material for a book? Do we set ourselves up for someone to take the piss? I honestly don't know the answers to these questions. We come on here to shoot the breeze, occasionally offer some support, mostly just help things along. Now I feel different about being here, and it's not a good feeling.

What do you think of the film Heavenly Creatures? Bear in mind that I can vividly remember MK's opinion on this film.

*^_^*

oh, by the way, as i am, at heart, quite a lazy sod, can you tell me if i am reading this right - i kind of guessed (and hoped) that Marcus wasn't real, but if it's going to be a scorching expose of us.... well, if he uses any of my "Man at a Difficult age" stuff, i'm suing!

In the words of Keggy Keegle, he's gone down in my estimation.